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Cary Elaine Baker

August 18, 1961 January 26, 2020
Cary  Elaine Baker
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Obituary for Cary Elaine Baker

Anthony Keith Baker 03.05.1973 - 01.25.2020

Cary Elaine Baker 08.18.1961 - 01.26.2020




Or, Mom & Tony, as we call them. They met at work as Opticians over twenty years ago and fell pretty instantly in love. Mom was the spicy high-achiever on the floor, Tony was the quiet, attention-to-detail lab tech. After dating for a couple of years, they married on July 11, 2001 and began the rest of their lives together.




They both advanced through their careers, mom working the ranks of optician mastery, through optometry mastery, and into ophthalmology mastery, while Tony managed easily to find labs to host his brilliance and talent with crafting.




In their off-time, they enjoyed movies, books, nature, their respective families, and an affinity for their eventual trip to Ireland. Tony excelled as a talented writer, both in penmanship and expression, writing beautiful stories that would win contests and awards, not to mention the better part of a well-researched novel. Mom enjoyed decorating her spaces with lights and color, catching up with her sister & kids, anything Harry Potter or Sherlock Holmes, and dancing little Irish jigs to keep us all giggling.




Their adventures through life would take them to various parts of VA, living in Fredericksburg, Bealton, and Lynchburg, then off to Williamsburg, where they had always dreamed they’d both be.




There they enjoyed regular day & night-time walks after work to, and weekend adventures around, the Colonial parts. Mom was always up for visits from her sister, kids, and grandkids with stops to the bakery for gingerbread and root beer before mansion tours, ghost walks and garden hops, cemetery explorations, sheep watches, and lunches beside the brook, store and stand visits for her favorite soaps and herbs, and dinners at her & Tony’s favorite tavern, all just a short distance from their home.




Tony would use the feel of the town and knowledge of the actors as inspiration for his novel, which was based on historic non-fiction. He had a love for Patrick Henry in particular, a prime feature of his intellect, one which he was not afraid to be questioned on due to his extensive knowledge of the famous orator.




Their spirits would take them down to Georgia where they charmed Brunswick with their marked love for each other and the live oak trees that lined their street, then out to Oklahoma to care for mom’s father, and back East to Hendersonville, NC where they enjoyed the peace & love of Tony’s beloved parents, Patty & Julian Wells, in the heart of the smoky mountains. Eventually, they would make their way back to Williamsburg before deciding to settle in the mountains of West Virgina, just off the Snowshoe slopes.




There, they enjoyed the quiet and not-so-quiet (mom was never not-spicy) comfort of each other’s company, black bear sightings, local adoring friends, feeding and watching the hummingbirds (as mom was a true hummingbird whisperer), regular visits from mom’s sister, Liz & her husband Rob, movies & ice cream in their charming ski-chalet condo, more novel writing, and trips to town to stock up on supplies so they could cook together some of mom’s amazing food.




They never wanted to be separated. Their love for each other was deep and rooted in their shared passions on various planes. They passed one night apart, never imagining their next adventures alone. They were best friends, they were adoring spouses, and they were beloved parents.




The unbearable pain of their absence is widespread, affecting family, friends, and acquaintances alike... to know them was to truly understand Aristotle’s quote, “Love is composed as a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” As we grieve the losses of both our magical mother, sister, and friend, Cary, in all of her absolute wonder and kindness and sincerity to anyone or anything that crossed her sweet bare-feet, alongside her most beloved partner in life, the well-read, well-written, hilarious, and absolutely supportive, Tony, we ask for your wishes, prayers, and hopes for peace.




A private service for immediate family & partners only will be held Mar 7, 2020 in their favorite place on earth. In lieu of flowers, we ask that donations be made using the link below to the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation, in honor/memory of Cary & Tony Baker.







https://www.colonialwilliamsburg.com/give?Code=BWOA08




“Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly fallen snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circled flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.”




Mary Elizabeth Frye


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